I See A Tiny Light

I haven't fallen off the face of the planet.

I'm just in limbo...

Waiting to hear back about the jobs that I interviewed for during a lovely weekend in Philadelphia. Waiting to make plans to move back to the City of Brotherly Love. Waiting to make plans to see the Rembrandt: Faces of Jesus exhibit at the PMA. Waiting for life to begin. And singing Grace Potter. A lot.

I see a tiny light like a flashbulb sparkle in the night.

I see a tiny light telling everyone to hold on tight.

I see a tiny light but it's not gonna shine without a fight....

WISH ME LUCK!

Falling.

Alright, World. Let's have it.

En garde, Fate.

Hit me with your best shot.

Lately, I'm manifesting a lot of hope, a lot of effort,

a lot of rolling the dice,

And an impressive amount of

"pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start all over again."

But I've got a secret.

The Wanderer is never lost, she's just looking for the next way to make her life stellar.

The single girl is not destined to be lonely when she is determined to be fabulous.

The artist never faces a dearth of words.

The Dreamer is never short on answers.

The Liberal Arts Major can make an analytical argument out of anything.

Whether or not my life is predestined, I still get to discover it every day.

And what a discovery it is.

photos: NvR Fail from ache.tumblr, bergdorfblonde.tumblr, Audrey Hepburn photo, Brokenmachine:TheOutlier:viaCowgirlblues, Fated to end.tumblr.com, Cover of book "Women Who Read Are Dangerous," girl from 500px by Capturedbylex.

Life.

Hello loves.

Greetings from the edge of the earth. I'm sure I fell off last week.

My long trip home held some surprises. Some were anticipated, and some were not. But my discoveries of the past week have put me back into that wonderful place of life. It's not that I've been depressed over the past few months, but after so much wondering and wandering, one runs the risk of becoming a little listless.

But no more. It's nice to be me again. (Isn't that a nice place to be?)

Here's what happened while I was in Atlanta.

1) I popped on the plane out of Boulder just a few hours after presenting a lecture on Marian Iconography, examined through multiple art historical, cultural, symbolic, and spiritual lenses.

It was so well-received, and I gave it twice more while in Atlanta. After meeting with a number of different people in liturgical ministry and adult enrichment roles, I've gotten lots of support for this endeavor.

Now I just need to put it into article form, see if I can get it published, and start on my next lecture....

2) I wrote my Bryce Dallas Howard article on the plane flying home, and then edited a slew of articles for the publication, New York Moves Magazine. I think the BDH article came off fairly well.

She was delightful to interview, and so enthused about so many different subjects, and she served me my concluding paragraph on a golden platter. I love that she was so interested in Grace as an empowering attribute. (We think alike...).

3) Discernment is not an easy process... particularly when you're multi-interested. I can see myself doing a lot of things. A lot of things. But I spent most of the week trying to figure out the best path for me, because applying to every corporate marketing position I can dig up hasn't been working. It's time for plan B.

So I've decided to try to cultivate a writing career, and drum up some new clients,

while simultaneously finding some sort of part- or full-time position with a not-for-profit, preferably nestling myself into the arts community. And I'm casting my net wide, for Fate to send me what she will. Because if I can find a lovely NFP spot, but it's not in my backyard...well...I've already learned that I'm good at picking up and moving, right?

With the art historical lectures, I've decided to try to head back to school in a year or two. I'm spreading knowledge to the masses with my little B.A. I imagine I could do some real damage with an M.A. or a Ph.D... And I always have my singing, too... I was promoted to Head Cantor while I was away. I'll be singing all summer!

4) has to do with my last post. This was the truly unexpected surprise. And though the ruminating on career options re-invigorated my mind, this surprise made me sit up and breath deep the joys of being.

You know those moments when life comes knocking, and you just open the door and let it in? That's what I did. It has to do with some great music, a great man, and a series of rather delightful moments. And I'll tell you all about it.

Tomorrow.

photos: imaginary friend by *mOthyyku at deviantART, Edge of the Earth, Edge of the Sky by Enrique Fernandez Ferra, image by Perhydrol from 500px, Joy Division, Bouguereau's Pieta, Henry Ossawa Tanner's The Annunciation, Bryce Dallas Howard, image from ffffound.com, Fork in the Road from melodyross.typepad.com, visual inspiration from vi.sualize.us, happen from imgfave.com/Melissa, Jump in the Sky by ~Loona5, Lovestory from 500px.com

Me.

I feel like the clock is ticking on my life. And despite my in-depth knowledge of all types of fairy tales, mythologies, and fables, I haven't a clue as to what will or will not happen at midnight, or what I should or should not be doing to prevent/prepare for the unknown eventuality.

I do see a million different futures, some a little similar, some utterly different, and all just lying on the ground waiting to be chosen.

I'm also afraid that if I hang out too long thinking about things, I may end up collecting cats, clothes, and decor, for lack of a life.

A little lost, a little wonder-y, a little wander-y. A whole lot of (??). And not a lot of (.).

So. What'll it be? Where am I going? What's my horizon? Where's my star?

photos: clocktower: orkut- myorkut from orkut.com, mirrors by Cari Ann Wayman, cat photo from Dust Jacket Attic (lovelovelove), forest pic from 500px by perhydrol, cityscape from 500px by Liq.

Trafficking Yourself.

The wonderful world of job-searching requires an oxymoronic cultivation of hubris and humility. As a prospective employee, you must be charming. As a 20-something, you must not be too charming (you must show you have room to grow and are not an upstart). As a creative person, you must think outside the box. As a creative person looking to pay the landlord and Safeway, you must be able to communicate with people who are well and truly inside the box. (Don't be a box-hater, be a box-re-communicator). Most of all, despite the fact that you have no idea what you should be "doing with your life," you must show a willingness to jump in with two feet, both hands, and the family dog right into the deep end of the adult pool...without looking too eager.

Meanwhile, inside your carefully cultivated multi-faceted demeanor, you have clenched hands, raised face, and a giant nebulous ball of hope that pulsates in your heart. And you feel like this:

And after each day of the seemingly endless "not right now"s and "maybe"s and "you were one of 2o phone calls I made out of 107 applicants for a job that was posted for about a week... so... that's a good consolation prize"s, you turn to the private things you know and you love (for me: art history, liturgical history, and the immensity of Beauty that extends so far outside of Kant's grasp... which I share with a handful of people who are, unfortunately, a few thousand miles away), and you fervently and fiercely channel Kurt Vonnegut.

photos: hedge maze by bob morrow from flickr, independent ... free - the last in a period, bunny from vi.sualize.us, kurt vonnegut quote.

World, Please Tell Your Friends About Me

or: Job Searching is Self-Inflicted Insanity.

Hello World,

It's me again. Jobless girl, reaching out to you from the ridiculous aperture of "I have an awesome life but I was bred to be constructively productive and I am unemployed, so my existence is a little lopsided right now."

I want to briefly discuss the job market.

Here's the thing.

Me and 15 million other Americans are unemployed and looking for work.

Me and x-million other unemployed Americans have a degree (or two) from a prestigious University and want to work in an intellectually challenging arena affecting growth and change.

It's this curse of optimism with which I was privileged enough to be born. I don't want to be a bean counter (no offense to the vocational bean counters of the world). I want a job where I can be witty and savvy and clever and creative and it makes a difference.

Now really. Is that so much to ask?

Job searching today is like brain-torture. Beyond the "I've scrolled through hotjobs, the Boulder Daily Camera, and Andrew Hudson's Job List so many times, I'm beginning to read secret messages embedded in the mush of sans-serif font" eye-blurring side effects,

there is the terrifying Mind Game. The "Am I Good Enough For This Job" internal analysis. Do they really need someone with a Ph.D in Aerospace Engineering to fulfill the position of HR assistant for Denny's? Or more realistically: If you're looking for a project manager, why do I need to have an intimate knowledge of Photoshop, InDesign, and Dreamweaver? Here's the thing: I would love to know how to navigate Photoshop, InDesign, and Dreamweaver, but no one's ever taught me, and I don't have an extra $1000 lying around to buy software and learn it on my own. Could I learn it in your office? You betcha. Quickly? You probably couldn't keep me off the damn programs once I had access to them.

But I've been the one with the pile of resumes, looking for the perfect candidate. I know what it's like.

You're looking for someone who inspires you to make an investment, and you're looking for excellent ROI. Am I right?

So we'll make this easy. Here, World, is why I am a good investment:

1) I love life. Really. No one wants to work with someone who considers it a chore to keep breathing. It's the optimist thing. Give me a few hours, and I'll find the silver lining, the open window, the stars in the shadow. And if I can't fix it, I'm really good at finding a way around it.

2) I'm clever. It evinces itself in the form of wit, circular conversation, double entendre, subtle sarcasm, and the occasional mind-reading.

3) I love to write. About anything. And I once won a Scrabble game with a triple-word-score on "Enlightened" that used all my letters.

I like words. I live in metaphor. And my grammar isn't too shabby, either. I've spent the past year editing articles for a lifestyle magazine written by college-educated journalists, none of whom would have passed Mrs. Papp's freshman year English/Lit class at my high school. (Parallel structure is your friend, world. Utilize it.)

4) I can multi-task. At age 24, I was promoted to the position of Marketing Manager for a small private airline. I had no assistants, and (no joke) 7 "bosses." Org-charts notwithstanding, have you ever worked for an airline? Nothing happens the way you expect it to happen, everything has to be done yesterday, multiple organizations with governmental clout are examining your every move, and planning is utterly futile.

One must arrive on one's toes, and stay there. Indefinitely.

If that's not proof enough, I give you this: Lately, I spend half of my days scouring the internet for career avenues, and the other half embracing the ruddy marrow of life. If that's not multi-tasking, I don't know what is.

5) I work well with others. Take all your sports analogies and chuck them. I never played organized sports growing up. I'll do you one better. I performed on stage.

Once you're on the boards, you have to know when to steal the spotlight, and when to support the harmony. You've got to have your dialogue memorized, and also be clever enough to create your own when someone drops a line. You have to recognize that a stellar actress in a crappy show is just that, but when all the elements come together, you can create a theatrical sensation.

And now I sing for weddings and funerals. Same principles: be absolutely fantastic, but don't distract from the overarching purpose of the day.

6) To that end: No, I cannot score the winning run for the company softball team. But I've got office karaoke sing-off covered.

7) Contrary to appearances, I'm actually extremely humble. Which, at this point, you may or may not believe. But I grew up in Atlanta and went to school in Philly. Then I drove across the nation to find my fortunes in Boulder, Colorado. Let me spell it out for you: I'm learning to be an outdoorsy person. Learning to ski/hike on ice/snowshoe for two hours to camp in a cabin engenders humility. Trust me.

8) Humility is a valuable quality when you're enmeshed in one of my favorite activities: Learning.

Teach me, teach me, teach me.

Have qualms that I haven't yet mastered LightRoom or InDesign? I taught myself Omniture analytics and an entire e-mail/survey platform. I'm a child of the technological era, so have a little faith. Give me a week and I'll be good to go. I can learn your industry lingo, your corporate cycle highs and lows, and your office social infrastructure. Give me two weeks, and I'll be finishing your sentences, handing you files before you ask for them, and know if you're craving a Starbucks Caramel Macchiato or a McDonalds Sausage Biscuit before I even arrive at work. (I do have a reference for this. She started as my boss and ended up as one of my great friends.)

9) Enthusiasm isn't something you can create. You've either got it, or you don't. And right now, I am aching to be productive. Bumming around Boulder reading the top 300 Novels of All Time as compiled from Time Magazine, The New York Times, and the BBC is a great vocabulary booster.

Taking pictures of the glories of nature is emotionally edifying.

Making new friends is dandy. But I like to eat. And thanks to my mother, I have a fantastic metabolism. Unfortunately, my cupboard is ever more rapidly resembling that of Old Mother Hubbard. So, world, throw me and my poor dog a bone.

I'm not asking for a Caviar and Dom salary, but perhaps something above the tuna fish and crackers range?

10) is for you to fill in the blank. Because one of the most important attributes of a new employee is that she fit in. So tell me, publishers, marketers, editors of the greater Boulder area, what are you looking for? Because I'm sure I could chameleonize myself to be a perfect fit.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Chesley Turner

Photos: paperairplane girl - whatannaloves.tumblr, b/w girl photo - imfreelykeely from flickr, Roosevelt Memorial image - LCTGloriosity, St. Thomas of Villanova Chapel at Villanova University, FDR - littlmiss.tumblr.com, computer screen text - ShazMadani, brain sketch - Sucha Lefty Brain by yasmeanie on deviantArt, paper pile - Hobbs "perfectionist", Starry night - daawl-face-quotes.xanga.com, Fireworks - LCTGloriosity, scrabble letters - Katie Weller, Michael Parkes illustration, ballerina - reblogged from izzapizza, Mary-Louise Parker image from New Yorker ad, Moulin Rouge movie still, microphone - kexplive at flickr, road map Journey - reblogged from mintdesignblog.com, student image from Wikimedia, forest girl ready - Jenniferzwick, Old Mother Hubbard by Frederick Richardson, chameleon image by Josh Boysen