A Reminder of What I Know

or: A brief, roughly steam-of-consciousness recording of thoughts that ran through my head during a Job Seminar I attended today.

Hello World.

Please come save me.

I'm sitting in a job seminar with six other people,

Average age: 55.

The speaker has a voice similar to the infomercial guy, though admittedly a few decibels lower.

He's telling us things like "research the company before you go to the interview, and tell them why you want to work there," and "start a LinkedIn profile," and "network."

I'm so glad I drove 40 minutes to get here.

Wait - now we're getting a step-by-step how-to-set-up-your-LinkedIn-profile tutorial.

This is an absolute lesson in despair.

All I can think about is my car in the parking lot (i hid my GPS) in the middle of a field behind the Aurora Community College Lowry Campus.

We've moved on to Twitter. Personally, I think that when average people have Twitter accounts, it's inane.

Wait - was that a glimmer of something interesting? ... nope. gone. Now he's suggesting stalking companies. Oh Lord.

For every 3 job openings advertised, there are 7 that aren't posted.

Dear World, I am unemployed, and I'd really love a job. I'm savvy, I'm creative, and I'm fun to work with. Please tell your friends to hire me. 'Cause I'd love to be working and learning again.

also: as buoyant as my self-esteem and soul-searching confidence has been since I trekked across the nation, I really don't think my mother can take my financial limbo much longer.

ps. mom, i find a reason to smile every day i'm here.

Ooh! Good reminder. Mr. Job Guy suggested getting a library card. Why haven't I done that yet?

I'd really love to be reading Rushdie right now.

"Experience is what was expected of you," says Mr. Job Guy. Then he says, "the words have the same root." No, Job Guy. They have the same prefix. Not the same etymology.

My brain is melting.

A customized resume? That's his big hint? A customized resume? DUH.

I really should have packed a Coca-Cola.

I think what I've learned today is that Serendipity has been too busy orchestrating other areas of my life to deign to dirty her hands on my employment history. Perhaps I should do some more daring, happy-go-lucky, whimsical, fate-enticing things to attract her attention.

photos: bored girl- piu diafana dell'assenza by Giovanni Giorgini, girl lying in road- flickr image by Rachel Victoria, car- visualizeus image Abandoned / delicious photograph, girl with umbrella from DaydreamLily, happy girl- "beyond the grass V" by Burcindrummer, image of Trinity College Library, Cover of Salman Rushdie's Midnight Children, girl in chair from DaydreamLily, Anais Nin image/quote from Visualizeus